That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Im part way to drunk.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
