Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
