You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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