Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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