So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Why did my mother make you get naked?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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