I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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