somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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