i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
