We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
