oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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