The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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