dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
