i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Do vagina's smell?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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