porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize