who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
