Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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