The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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