You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
