There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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