i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
