i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
