I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
