the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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