I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
