His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
