So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
