Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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