VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
