I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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