I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
