he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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