he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
