dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize