She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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