First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
