when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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