i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
