I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
And then he peed in my hair
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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