my vag is so smooth its legendary
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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