My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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