sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my shit smells like andre
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
