What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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