I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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