I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
