I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
