Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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