That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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