When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
