I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
