Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
