If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
