i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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