So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize