Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
