You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize