Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize