: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i think my tv is drunk
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
