So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
