He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
