so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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