Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
