dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Your cock deserves a montage
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
